Me and My Gang
by x.Mayhem.x
Summary: A series of humorous oneshots involving Superstars from ECW and SmackDown! brands. Third part: War On You All.
1. How to Open CocaCola

**A/N:** These are going to be totally random, and will more than likely be updated twice a week.

Just to cheer up Kaylah-bean.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the craziness. **

**-**

**How to Open Coca-Cola**

His hazel eyes lit up instantly when he saw the bottle, a delighted smile crossing his lips. Without hesitation, he pulled out the change necessary to purchase the soft drink. After receiving the beverage, he took off running to find his brother.

"Matt! Matt!" Jeff ran through the hallways, smiling like an idiot and ignoring the curious gazes he was receiving.

He finally found him in the locker room, talking with Brian Kendrick, John Morrison, and The Miz.

"Matt, look what I found!" Jeff announced proudly, showing off his bottle of Coca-Cola.

Miz and Morrison snickered, Brian laughed quietly, and Matt cocked an eyebrow at his brother. "Jeff, are you on something?"

"No." Jeff stated while enthusiastically shaking his colourful head. "But it's an actual glass bottle. Of Coca-Cola! Dude, you can't just _find_ these anymore!"

Matt went to go say something, but Morrison beat him to it. "Man, obviously you can, or else you wouldn't have one now, would you?"

This caused more laughter in the room, as everybody except Jeff started at the obviousness.

"Ha ha, laugh it up guys. I'll just go elsewhere and enjoy my treat then." Jeff left the room, dramatically slamming the door behind him.

Matt stopped laughing for a second, though a smile still remained on his face. "I feel sorry for the sap that has to get in the ring with a caffeinated Jeff."

The look on Brian's face immediately went from amusement to one of horror. "_I'm_ the sap! Crap!"

It went quiet in the room for a moment before Matt, Miz and Morrison started laughing at the blonde's expense; Miz actually falling off the bench from laughing so hard.

-

Meanwhile, Jeff was pacing back and forth, wondering how he could have forgotten his Swiss Army pocketknife in the locker room. Without it, he was at a loss on how to open the bottle cap.

And there was no way he could go back in the room without getting picked on.

"Something wrong, Hardy?"

Jeff looked up to see Triple H standing there, a slight smirk on his face. "What do you want, Hunter?"

The older blonde's smirk grew a bit. "I'm just trying to be friendly, Jeff. So, what's bothering you?"

"I can't figure out how to open this." Jeff sighed, pushing back his multi-coloured hair. "You wouldn't happen to have a pocketknife or something, would you?"

Hunter shook his head. "Nope. But I do have..." He brought down the sledgehammer from his shoulder.

"I don't think –" Jeff started, but was cut off by The Game.

"Yeah, yeah. I do it all the time. Watch." He took the bottle from Jeff, ignoring the younger man's protests as he put it on the concrete floor.

With a manic look in his eye, Triple H raised his sledgehammer up over his head, bringing it down on the innocent bottle, which shattered into several shards, the carbonated liquid spraying and pooling.

"There ya are, Hardy." Triple H smiled proudly, bringing his Equaliser to rest on his shoulder.

Jeff looked in disbelief at the sticky mess. "Dude, how am I supposed to drink it?!"

"Drink it?" Hunter repeated, his eyebrows furrowing. "I didn't know you wanted to drink it; I just thought you wanted it open."

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Jeff walked back towards the vending machine to get another bottle of Coke, and hope to God that he found somebody with a bottle opener or a pocketknife.

-

He was beginning to believe that he was cursed.

Nobody had a pocketknife or bottle opener on them, yet whoever he asked was always willing to try to help. Always with negative consequence.

After Hunter, he had run into Montel Vontavious Porter. The Ballin' Superstar offered to help, and for once, Jeff was relieved to see the guy.

That was, until MVP tried using the edge of his bling to open the bottle, scratched it, and threw a fit that ended up with yet another innocent bottle getting smashed.

After that, it only got worse.

Ken Kennedy attempted to yell the cap off, only to shatter the glass.

The Great Khali, Big Show, and Mark Henry had all tried to use their strength to open the bottle, and all three snapped the fragile bottle.

Umaga tried giving the cap a Samoan Spike, only to lose his grip and drop the bottle.

Dave Finlay tried using his shillelagh to pry open the cap, only to break the entire neck of the bottle.

The worst, by far, had to have been his last attempt. Why he even though of The Undertaker was beyond him, but surely, Taker would have had something to open the bottle. Instead, when he asked the Deadman for help, the gong sounded, and the lights went out. When they came back on a few seconds later, he was gone, as well as the younger Superstar's bubbly beverage.

With a sigh, Jeff pulled out a handful of change. Looking at the vending machine, he noticed that it was down to the last bottle.

"Great." He muttered to himself, inserting the change and pressing the correct buttons. "Just fucking great."

Crouching down, he retrieved the Coca-Cola, and stood back up to come face-to-face with the Rated R Superstar, Edge. 'As if this couldn't get any worse.'

"Edge." He greeted monotonously, trying to get past the Canadian.

Edge smirked, barring Jeff's way. "In a rush, aren't we, Hardy?"

"Yes, now if you don't mind –"

Once again, Edge thwarted Jeff's attempt to leave. "But you see, I do mind. I heard that you're having a certain soda related dilemma."

"And what if I am?"

Edge pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head, still smirking. "Ah, young Jeffrey, I wasn't finished. See, I also heard you've been going around, trying to get help opening your soda. And yet, you haven't even come looking for the Edgemeister."

"I- uh- I thought you'd be too- um- busy to help me out." Jeff lied. Truthfully, he hadn't even thought of him.

Edge chuckled. "Well, of course I was busy. But I wouldn't have turned down a soda problem. I mean, sodas rule."

Jeff bit his cheek to keep from laughing. "Alright. So will you help me?"

Extending his hand, the Rated-R Superstar motioned for the bottle. Warily, Jeff handed it over.

"Now, watch, because I'm only doing this once."

Jeff bit his tongue, not wanting to upset Edge by telling the guy he could only do it once. He watched intently, as Edge set up like he was about to do some great, near impossible feat. With a deep breath, the Canadian struck like lightning, twisting the metal cap off and letting it drop to the concrete floor.

"Voila!" Edge shouted, smiling like a fool.

Jeff's jaw dropped in disbelief, his eyes wide in shock. "Are. You. Serious?"

Edge gave a hearty laugh. "Dude, all bottles of soda are made with twist tops. What'd you think; they were made like beer bottles?"

Frustrated and flustered, Jeff turned his back to Edge and stormed off, muttering something about wasting perfectly good Skittle change.

With a shrug, Edge turned and headed back down the hallway, Jeff's Coke in hand, to where a small blonde stood.

"Did it work?"

Edge nodded, swallowing a large mouthful of his drink. "Like a charm. How'd you manage that?"

Brian smirked. "I threatened to set Jeff loose on any of the guys that helped him open the Coke."

Both men shuddered at the thought.

Jeff on caffeine was a cruel and unusual punishment that nobody deserved.


	2. Everybody Dance Dance Now

**A/N:** I swear, my Jeff muse gave sugar to my Brian muse, and they're both tormenting my other musi.

Or maybe it's because I've had too much Coke and have Jeff's old theme on repeat.

Damn, it could even be _**Dark Kaneanite**_'s review that inspired this.

Guess we'll never know, will we?

**Disclaimer: Same as always. I own nothing at all.**

**-**

**Everybody Dance Dance Now**

Matt, Miz and Morrison were ready to hunt down and brutally murder Edge.

Why the blond Canadian had given Jeff sugar after his match was beyond them. But worse than that, Jeff had decided he was in a sharing mood. And had decided to share with none other than Brian.

So now, they were stuck dealing with two very wound up and excitable Superstars.

"They remind me of eight year olds." Morrison stated plainly, watching as Jeff chased Brian around the room, leaping over furniture and knocking various things over.

"I was thinking more like five year olds." Miz opinionated, wincing slightly as Jeff rammed the younger man into the wall. "Possibly with ADHD."

Once again, all three men went back to watching as the two hyperactive men engaged in an impromptu wrestling match, in which couches and chairs were flipped.

"You think we should take them to an arcade or something?" Matt asked in a hushed tone, but much to his and the two younger Superstars dismay, their high friends overheard.

"Arcade? Can we go Matty? Please? Pretty please?" Jeff asked, smiling with his hazel eyes wide and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Brian joined him. "Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeeeeeease?"

Matt, Miz and Morrison exchanged looks, before Miz sighed. "I'll find a phonebook."

"I'll get taxis." Morrison offered, pulling out his phone.

Matt smiled. "I'm going to get some revenge."

There were excited cheers from Brian and Jeff as they gave each other high-fives and started bouncing around the trashed hotel room.

-

The taxi wasn't even at a complete stop with Jeff and Brian jumped out of the vehicle, running towards the door of the arcade. Morrison and Miz rushed after them, Matt hot on their heels, which left a certain blond Canadian paying for the services.

"Can't believe I got suckered into doing this." He muttered to himself, overpaying the driver by a good ten dollars in his want to get out of the vehicle.

Edge had been 'recruited' by Matt to help look after the younger Hardy and Kendrick, blaming the entire thing on him. In all honesty, he thought he was being nice: after all, he did somewhat steal Jeff's Coke, and just wanted to pay the kid back.

He didn't know Jeff would share the pixie sticks.

**Meanwhile...**

"Thanks again." Matt smiled, shaking the one of the two managers' hand. "You have no idea how much we appreciate this."

The two female managers smiled, both wearing nameplates. Leah, whose hand Matt had shook, smiled warmly. "Trust us, it's no problem."

"I mean, it's not every day that we get to meet a bunch of our heroes." The other female, Jo, added.

"Still –"

Matt was cut off by a crash coming from further in the arcade, as well as "You cheated!"

"Gotta go." He sighed, rolling his eyes, jogging towards the disturbance.

There was Jeff and Brian, rolling around on the floor, trading childish insults with each other. Miz and Morrison stood off to the side, trying to figure out how to break up the scuffle without getting hurt, and Edge... well, he was busy playing both Superstars on the WWF arcade game over in the corner.

Sighing again, he went over to the two, still very hyper, men, giving the older of the two a less than gentle nudge to his ribs. "Get up, or else we leave."

The threat was immediately registered, as both Brian and Jeff got to their feet, and apologized in unison. "Sorry."

"Good, now... go do something non-destructive."

-

It was nearing one in the morning, and Jeff and Brian had yet to burn out or crash.

Matt was used to being up until around three in the morning, and as he look at the other three, he realized that they must have had later sleeping habits as well.

Edge and Morrison were engaged in a very heated air hockey tournament. First to fifteen games, or something like that. Miz, who had been playing game after game of Pac-man, was refereeing and keeping track of who was winning.

This left him to keep somewhat of an eye on the two highflyers, who were playing some kind of racing game, shouting insults at the virtual racers on the screen.

Barely a minute later, both bounced out of the booth. "We're boooooored!" they cried simultaneously.

Matt was about to suggest leaving, but was quickly cut off.

"There's a DDR machine off in the corner." Miz suggested, pointing to the far left side of the room. Sure enough, in all its glory, stood the dance machine.

Hazel and blue eyes widened in excitement, as identical smiles crossed their lips.

"Let's dance!" they shouted, taking off like two bats out of Hell.

Brian got to it first, claiming the pad on the right side, leaving Jeff on the left. Jeff inserted the correct amount of tokens into the slot, straightening up as the machine came to life.

Immediately, both noticed a huge problem.

Neither of their entrance themes was in the machine.

"What?!" They both cried out in disbelief, staring at the machine in wide eyed horror.

Matt sighed, walking over to the duo, Miz following behind him. Jeff turned to face his older brother, still pointing at the machine.

"Our themes aren't in here!" he cried, arm shaking slightly.

Miz gave a small smirk. "Why the hell would you guys need your themes?"

Both Brian and Jeff exchanged a look, before looking at Miz like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "How do we dance without them?"

-

It took a few minutes, and the entire group's help, but eventually the two sugar-high Superstars were ready to battle it out, DDR-style.

"_**Everybody dance now!"**_

Matt, Miz, Morrison and Edge watched in mild amusement as the two jumped around, trying to match the footwork up to the arrows onscreen.

That lasted a whole twenty seconds as it became painfully obvious that neither man had ever played the game before, and therefore started improvising. Jeff was attempting to match up his entrance dance to the rhythm of the music, but was having a hard time. Brian, however, was having a blast as he created his own fancy footwork.

A few seconds later, and the screen flashed red before going black. When it reappeared, 'FAIL' was written in big, bold red letters.

"Dude, no way!" Brian yelled at the machine, appalled that the game hadn't captured his dancing. "What a gyp!"

Jeff chuckled. "Bri, you broke it with your awful dancing."

"My dancing rocks your sorry ass, Jeff. Maybe it didn't like your sexual advances."

"What?!"

"You were practically humping the damn thing." Brian stated, smirking. "Oooh, I'm Jeff Hardy. I hump everything because I'm a raaaaaainboooooow."

"Jeff's a rainbow?" Miz whispered to Matt and Morrison.

Morrison shrugged, watching as the confrontation got physical once again, with Jeff yelling "You're just jealous because you want to be the machine!" to Brian. "I thought he was a Skittle."

Edge snorted, rolling his eyes. "Alright, chumpstains. I'm going to take care of business, and then I want to be out of here, got it?"

He didn't give the three others a chance to respond before taking off towards the washrooms, muttering incoherently to himself. Matt shot a dirty look at the guy's back, while Miz and Morrison exchanged mischievous smirks, their eyes glimmering with trouble.

"Be right back." Morrison told Matt, before both him and his tag team partner took off towards the office they had seen the two females slip into.

Matt just shrugged and watched as Jeff and Brian beat on each other.

-

Both women appeared at the door, looking somewhat exhausted.

"Hey there. You guys taking off?" Jo asked before getting a jab in the ribs.

Miz and Morrison shook their heads, smiling like idiots. "Not quite. You wouldn't happen to have a source of sugar or caffeine, would you?"

Both women nodded. "Yeah, there are vending machines down the hall. Pop, chocolate, chips, sweets... You know, all the stuff the kids love."

Miz and Morrison nodded at the women, giving them a quick thanks before heading off down the hallway.

Leah turned to Jo, a huge smile on her face as she whispered "Oh my God, I think I saw his abs!"

-

Matt watched, with wide eyes, as the two ECW Superstars came back, arms loaded with sugary treats and soda. Quickly, he rushed over to them, his eyebrows lowered.

"What the hell do you guys think you're fucking doing? They're almost calmed down!" he hissed, before hearing a loud thud, and more insults from Brian and Jeff. "... Or not."

"Matt, man, hear us out. How long have we've been dealing with these two?" Morrison asked, his face one of seriousness.

"Awhile, I guess." Matt replied.

Miz nodded, a small grin lighting up his features. "Exactly. And it's all _his_ fault, right?"

Matt nodded, his own smirk appearing as he realized where the duo were headed with this. His brown eyes twinkled mischievously, as he clapped Morrison on the shoulder. "I'll get us a cab."

-

Edge splashed water onto his face, before wiping it with a paper towel. He knew it was a little late for it, but he was regretting ever giving the younger Hardy sugar.

'A hundred or so pixie sticks. He's thirty-one, for Christ's sake! I didn't think sugar actually affected him like that still.' He thought, disposing of the wadded up towel before leaving the washroom. Immediately, he knew something was wrong.

The place was silent.

"John? Miz?" he called out, walking further into the room. "Matt? Brian? Jeff? Anybody?"

Then he noticed the litter that hadn't been there previously. Chocolate bar wrappers, chip packages, cans of soda, candy wrappers...

And no sign of anybody.

"Hello?" he called out again, swearing that he could hear giggling.

When he didn't hear anything for a few seconds, he let out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. He went to take a step, only to get glomped from the back and side, getting knocked to the ground in the process. Detangling himself from his attackers, he looked to see both Jeff and Brian visibly shaking.

Then it clicked.

"Oh no..." he groaned.

"EdgeEdgeEdgeEdgeEdgeEdgeEdgeEdge!Hihihi!Canwegotothepark,huhhuh,canwecanwepleeeeease?Huh,EdgeEdgeEdgeEdgeEdgeEdgeEdge?Pleeeeeeease?" Jeff begged without taking a single breath.

Edge looked at him, cocking an eyebrow. "What?"

Brian pulled at his arm. "Can we go to the park pleeeeease?"

"... Sure?" Edge replied, looking around. "Where are the other guys?"

"Gonegone." Jeff replied, bouncing and tugging at Edge's other arm. "Theyweretiredandneededsleepsothey'regonegone."

Edge groaned, but let himself get pulled to his feet. "So they gave you both more sugar."

Both nodded enthusiastically, pulling Edge towards the door. The two women watched as the three Superstars passed through the door, and as Jeff and Brian let go of Edge and took off running down the street. With a relieved sigh, they locked the front door before setting out to close down everything else.

-

"You guys think that we were kinda mean to leave him there with those two?"

Matt shook his head, smiling. "Not at all. He had it comin' to him."

All three men nodded, laughing as they rode the elevator to their floor, blissfully unaware that outside and a few blocks away, Edge was chasing the two hyper men.

The Canadian was muttering threats about kicking some ass while Brian and Jeff repeatedly shouted "Run run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!"


	3. War On You All

**A/N:** I have no clue where this came from, honestly. It might've actually been me, waking up and thinking "It's been ages since I've done this to somebody."

And because I'm high on these six lately.

Kaylah, you'll get the codenames.

Don't be afraid to ask. We will explain.

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Any of it.**

**-**

**War On You All**

"Okay, so the person cannot know what you're about to do, and you're only allowed doing it once to a person."

"So wait – Say Brian were to do it to... umm... 'Taker-"

"I wouldn't be dumb enough to do it to him! He'd **kill** me!"

"It was just an example, Bri, relax." Matt sighed before returning to his question. "Alright, so if Brian was to do it to _somebody_, and I did it to the same person..."

Jeff smiled. "Oh, multiple people can do it to one person, but one person can't do it to the same person multiple times. Only the first time counts."

Brian and Matt nodded, exchanging high-fives. "This'll be awesome!"

"Yep, and one last thing." Jeff said, pulling his hair into a hair tie. "You have to shout it out as you carry it out."

The three of them paused, looking at each other with identical mischievous grins.

Hell was being raised today, and it was all because Jeff was bored.

Go figure.

-

They were the first two that the Hardy brothers spotted when they entered the arena, and it was sheer luck that the two had their backs towards Matt and Jeff.

"How're we going to do this?" Matt asked quietly, leaning towards his brother.

Jeff was quiet for a few seconds. "You take Tumbleweed; I'll take Lil C."

Matt gave one quick nod, before looking at Jeff. "What?"

"Codenames." Jeff replied, explaining quickly. "He's Tumbleweed 'cause of his hair, and I couldn't think of a better name for the other one. And we need codenames too. I'm God, because... well, it's me. And you can be Angel, because... well, just because. Now c'mon, on three."

Matt counted down, using his fingers.

One...

Two...

Tumbleweed and Lil C were starting to turn when Matt counted – Three!

Running, both Matt and Jeff started after their targets, before jumping at them.

Jeff caught Lil C, or Primo Colón, when he had fully turned, knocking them both to the ground. Tumbleweed, or Carlito, still had his back to Matt when the older Hardy caught him. Somehow, they managed to remain upright, even with the momentum behind the running tackle bear hug.

"Glomp!!" Both Hardys shouted, before letting go of their victims and taking off down the hallway.

"What... what was dat?" Carlito asked, helping his brother back to his feet.

Primo shrugged. "Whatever it was, that wasn't cool."

"Man stop stealin' Carlito's lines!" the older man shook his head before walking off in the opposite direction of Matt and Jeff.

"We're brothers! We're supposed to share!" Primo called, taking off after him.

-

While Jeff and Matt were busy glomping the Colóns, Brian was off trying to find his first victim.

Then he spotted him.

The guy was already in his ring gear, complete with black shirt and do-rag.

'Too easy.' Brian thought with a smirk before taking off down the hall, launching himself at the back of SmackDown!'s highest paid athlete.

"Glomp!!" he shouted, laughing as MVP stumbled and cried out.

Quickly, the blond highflyer let go, taking off down the hall, MVP chasing him and yelling obscenities at him.

Then for the second time in less than a minute, MVP was attacked.

"Glomp!!" Jeff cried, managing to knock over the larger man, and halt the chase.

"You better run Hardy!" MVP warned, with both Brian and Jeff taking off, laughing and giving each other five.

-

Matt had no idea where Jeff had taken off to, but it was better for him this way. With his brother gone, he didn't constantly have to refer to him as 'God'.

"Only Jeff..." Matt muttered, before ducking behind a vending machine.

His next victim was headed towards him, and Matt was hoping he was too involved in his conversation to have seen him. Smirking, he was ready when the pair walked past.

It was quick. Pouncing, Matt caught the self-proclaimed chick magnet around the neck. "Glomp!!"

"What the...!" Miz shouted, while Morrison started laughing.

"Relax, man." John said, smiling as Matt released his hold on the younger Superstar. The Los Angeles native looked at the older Hardy, amused. "Jeff at it again with his Glomp Wars?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah. So far, it's just Brian, him and myself."

"What're Glump Wars?" Miz asked, looking between the two men.

Morrison was quicker to answer. "Glomp Wars. It's like paintball, but without the guns and the mess. And the fact that you're giving glomps to unsuspecting people, while shouting 'Glomp!!'"

Matt nodded. "Yeah. Jeff and I used to have them all the time with Edge and Christian."

"You've had them a few times with Mercury and me too." Morrison added, smiling. "Ah, good times..."

Miz lowered his eyebrows a bit, looking between the two men. "So, can anybody join?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah, sure. Why, you'd like to join?"

"Yeah!" Both Miz and Morrison replied, smiling. The three exchanged fives, excited.

"This is gonn - AHH!!" Morrison started, before he was knocked to the ground by Brian, while Matt was knocked over by Jeff.

"Glomp!!" Both men shouted, laughing at their glompee's.

"Jeff, get off!" Matt shouted, trying to pry off his brother and failing.

It took both Miz and Brian to get the Rainbow-Haired Warrior off the ECW Champ, while Morrison was still reeling a bit from the force of Kendrick's glomp.

"You're no fun." Jeff pouted, before pushing loose strands of hair from his eyes. "I'm allowed to glomp you, then huggle you."

"Huggle?" Brian, Miz and Morrison asked collectively.

"An extra affectionate hug." Matt replied, getting to his feet. "It's the aftermath of a glomp."

"Isn't that a little... umm..."

"Hardycestuous?" Morrison finished off Miz's previous statement.

Jeff shook his head, smiling. "It's a hug, damn it. Hardycestuous would involve me having a hot make-out session with Matt in the middle of a bowling alley."

There were incredulous looks on the other four men's faces, which confused the younger Hardy. "What? What'd I say?!"

"Too much, Jeff, too much."

-

There were now five Superstars engaged in the Glomp Wars involving all members of the ECW and SmackDown! rosters.

Edge had gotten wind of it, especially after seeing both Hawkins and Ryder get glomped by Matt and Jeff.

It wasn't until later, when he saw Jeff, alone, that he made his move. Crouching down like he was getting ready to deliver a spear, he waited until the younger Hardy was facing him before running at him, knocking them both to the ground when the Canadian jumped at him.

"Glomp!!" he cried out, smiling like a maniac. Edge got off Jeff, before helping him to his feet.

Jeff chuckled. "You found out?"

"Saw you and Matt glomp Hawkins and Ryder."

Jeff nodded, smiling. "So, does that mean you want in?"

Edge nodded, running his fingers habitually through his blond hair. "Hell yeah. Who's all involved?"

"Matt, myself, Brian, Miz, Morrison, and now yourself. Matt's gotten Chavo, Hawkins, Swagger, Miz and Carlito. Miz has Ortiz, Finlay, and Grisham-"

"Hehe, Grisham." Edge chuckled.

"- Morrison's glomped Evan, Bam and Shelton. Brian's victims are MVP, Morrison, Zeke, and Victoria. I've gotten Primo, MVP, Matt, Ryder, Ranjin, and Triple H."

Edge raised an eyebrow at him. "You seriously glomped Trips?"

Jeff nodded, smiling smugly. "Hell yeah! The guy's ego is getting fucking bigger than his nose. A glomp, when properly executed, is embarrassing."

"Take him down a few pegs. Nice, Hardy." He complimented, clapping his back. "But it sounds like I've got some catching up to do."

Jeff nodded, giving a slight wave to Edge before turning around.

"Glomp!!" Matt cried, startling his brother before letting go and taking off after Edge.

-

Miz and Brian were running down the hall, laughing. They had just managed to glomp Festus and Jesse.

What they hadn't expected was for a bell to be lying around, or even to hit it.

Which awoke the beast in Festus.

"To the ring! We have to get to the ring!" the two of them shouted, laughing as Jesse tried his best to calm down Festus.

-

Morrison saw his next victim in front of a vending machine, the guy's manager nowhere around. He waited until the big man was crouching down to get his snack before getting into position.

As soon as the World's Strongest Man stood up, John made his move.

"Glomp!!"

Before Mark Henry could react, the Shaman of Sexy was running down the hallway, Mark's bag of pretzels in his grasp.

"Morrison, you're dead meat when I catch you!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Morrison shot back, confident that he could outrun the big man.

-

"Glomp!!" Jeff shouted, laughing.

"You can only glomp me once!" Matt shouted, trying to take a swipe at his brother, getting nothing but air as the Charismatic Enigma ran down the hall.

Edge laughed, clapping a hand on the Sensei of Mattitude's shoulder. "That's... what? Five times now?"

"Six." Matt corrected moodily.

"Here, I've got an idea that'll take your mind off him."

"Oh boy..."

-

The Festus Incident had been resolved when Miz found, and glomped, his friend and tag team partner.

"You almost made me drop my pretzels." Morrison stated, looking scornfully at Miz.

Miz cocked an eyebrow at him. "Since when do you eat pretzels?"

"Since I took them from Mark Henry."

"Very nice John."

Jeff and Brian jogged up to Miz and Morrison, both looking a little winded. "You guys haven't seen Matt and Edge, have you?"

Both shook their head negatively. "Why?"

"Because we overheard Ranjin, Khali and Dreamer talking about-"

Jeff didn't get to finish his story as a dark haired man and a blond skidded around the corner, both looking fearful and highly amused.

"Run, Edge, run!" the dark haired man cried, gaining the lead.

"I am! I am!" Edge cried out. "I think we lost them though, Matt!"

Edge spoke too soon, as two massive figures came to an abrupt halt in the intersection of the hallway, looking the other way before turning their heads towards Matt and Edge, both men scowling.

"Hardy, get back here!" the bigger man shouted, him and his partner running after the duo.

Miz, Morrison, Jeff and Brian stepped as close to the wall as they could get, watching Matt and Edge get chased down the hall by two of the biggest Superstars on SmackDown!.

"I'm glad we went after Jesse and Festus, and not those two." Brian laughed, talking to Miz, who nodded.

Only people with a death wish actually went through with glomping the Big Show and Undertaker.

-

"Alright, this has just gotten ridiculous!" Triple H stated, standing on a table in catering. Many of the ECW and SmackDown! Superstars were in there for a reason, and it wasn't food. "Sure, it starts out as fun and games, but these six have just gone and taken it too far!"

There were many who agreed vocally, while the rest nodded or gave a slight shrug.

"I'm the highest paid athlete here, and I've been... tackled... by all six o' them!"

Triple H rolled his eyes. "MVP, it's called 'glomped', and shut up. Nobody cares."

The Ballin' Superstar sat back down in his seat, crossing his arms and sulking.

"Anyway, I've seen these games before, several times. And they won't stop until we take them down."

Maria's hand shot up in the air, waving around excitedly. "Ooo, Ooo, like to Chinatown?"

The whole room stopped to look at the Diva, who looked around with wide green eyes.

"What?" she asked, completely oblivious to why they were all looking at her like they were.

"Aaaaanyways, there's only one way to stop this thing, and here's how..."

-

Edge and Matt, no longer being pursued by Big Show or 'Taker, rejoined their gang. Miz, Morrison, Brian and Jeff were lounging in the locker room, telling stories of their funniest glomping encounters when they walked in, sweaty and out of breath.

The older men squeezed themselves onto the couch, smiling as Brian stopped mid-sentence in his tale about getting Victoria.

"You two lived?!" Morrison exclaimed, looking at Matt and Edge.

Edge nodded, chuckling. "Barely."

"Yeah. If Edge hadn't thought to spear 'Taker, we'd both be dead in the hallway somewhere." Matt laughed, still trying to catch his breath.

"Shame. It would have been cool to be an only child, and I'd gain all Matt's fans because of sympathy." Jeff laughed as he moved onto the arm of the couch.

"Matt has fans?" Edge joked, earning a smack from Matt and laughter from the rest of the guys there.

The room went silent for a moment when Miz lost his balance on the bench, falling and nailing his head on the floor, before everybody laughed harder at the Chick Magnet's expense.

-

The six of them, showered, changed and ready to call it a night, left their locker room, chatting animatedly amongst themselves.

That was, until they turned down another hallway.

What they saw was enough to make their hearts stop dead in their chest, as many of their SmackDown! and ECW co-workers stood further down the hall. A majority of the Superstars looked vengeful, while a fair few looked amused.

"Should we run?" Miz asked quietly to those closest to him, which were Morrison, Brian and Edge.

The blond Canadian stepped forward, a collective groan sounding from behind him. Ignoring it, he turned to face their little group, smiling like a madman.

"We will not run! One day, the almighty glomp may fall, but that day... is not this day... for this day... we fight!" he proclaimed, throwing his fist in the air. "Now who's with me?!"

Matt, Brian, Jeff, Miz and Morrison exchanged glances, before five pairs of eyes turned to the blond. "Yeah, good luck with that."

As soon as that was said, the five men turned and ran, leaving the oldest man there as the mob of Superstars advanced. The sight was enough for the Rated-R Superstar to second guess his own motivating speech, and chase after them.

After all, an angry mob of glomp victims only wanted one thing:

Payback.


End file.
